Untitled 2 (English Carnival UM)

Alright. So I re-performed this on like...the most important stage in UM. And this could be considered a controversial poem or whatever (lmfaoooooo) so I checked with the English Carnival higher-ups to make sure they were comfortable and that stuff wouldn't blow up 'cause of it (cough you could say I was taking 1975 precautionary steps). It ended up basically just being us students and crew members there for this artistic showcase portion of the event so I was able to continue with what I'd planned.

As for my personal feelings about performing this...I was nervous but ultimately I was like I'm about done with my degree and this is my chance. I'll risk whatever consequences may be in store and I'm going to leave my mark, go out with the bang that is taking a fat sh*t on their precious stage. This is what I need. And FAWK UM CENSORSHIP. Shoutout to Wong Yan Ke.

I updated the words to this poem too and nevertheless actually DE-censored it from how I censored it at UiTM. Was still pretty censored though and not the best but you do what you can. As it was June, I also made it more pride-coded. :) Words can be found below (the video cuts off the first line or so). GOD I WAS SO NERVOUS.

Lips licked in preparation

to release words that are unneeded

Lips quivering in anticipation

of the slurs from the conceited

The sun is sad when it sets on a world that lacks civility

The fact is we all have different minds

Live lives of different kinds

Have different conversations with the divine

Have different divines that we enshrine

It’s almost like we were made differently in the first place

It’s almost like not all people travel at the same pace

But the second someone is deemed a little too different

It is said to them ‘You are one of the signs’

And then

The lecturer mocks a certain student who doesn’t dress according to her liking

Before she moves on to teach the class about the sin of backbiting

The preacher starts off his talk with a light-hearted joke

Of course, it’s bigoted

In the house of God he slanders God, the fashioner of all who are targeted

Throngs wish death upon a woman

Because she, to them, is not a she

As if entry into heaven is dependent on how vile you can be

Crowds bully people into

Because they can’t stand which way they swing but

If I recall correctly their favorite phrase to tell others is ‘God sees everything’

So were your actions seen or do your actions mean

Nothing when it’s you because you’re so pristine

Are you really confident in saying that your actions are clean?

Do people really think the plight of others is entertainment

Do people think edge makes them God-adjacent

Destroying what you claim you want to build

Do you ever feel sorry for what it could’ve been

Breaths are usually caught to replace breaths that are missed

But some breaths are fumbled

Fumbled on purpose

The sun frowns as it sets on a world that lacks decency

Being decent deemed too sensitive like it’s a crime to not be a criminal

Play roll the dice with a term and say ‘I’ll use it in this way’ like the definition isn’t fundamental

A word means something but you make it mean anything you want it to

Throw things around and then get upset when they ricochet back to you

It’s how adults teach kids slurs because they make insignificant what they mean

It’s how me, my siblings and friends were treated because of melanated genes

Yeah. I know that there are good people

And I believe that faith, in its pure form, is unthinkably beautiful

There are communities of angels—dolls, kings—who practice love and fight for it

Providing fresh air amongst the pollution

The pollution of the earth, as well as the minds occupying it

This part doesn’t have to rhyme,

This part is partly a last-minute cover-up—except the dolls and kings part—because I can’t be too sensitive, it’s not so bad

Teeth grinding in arrogance

Teeth gritting in resilience

I know that when the sun sets

It still sets with hope—and pride

Because though the sun sets

We stay risen